Pt 4: The Power of Forgiveness
Breaking the Stronghold - Developing the Mindset of a Forgiver
Proverbs 28:26 (AMP) tells us: "He who leans on, trusts in, and is confident of his own mind and heart is a [self-confident] fool, but he who walks in skillful and godly Wisdom shall be delivered." If we were to believe our hearts when they tell us we've been hurt too badly to forgive, we would be self-confident fools because we are keeping ourselves locked in our places of pain, separated from the deliverance we so desperately desire.
When a believer constantly struggles to forgive, it is usually a sign of pride or a lack of faith in God. Pride tells us we have a right to do what we feel and that we know what is best for us, even when it goes against God's Word. Pride allows us to stare an absolute truth in the eye and then rationalize why it should or should not apply to our situation. A lack of faith, on the other hand, will make us believe the power of God has limitations when it comes to helping us overcome the pain the offense has caused.
This scenario often happens to someone who has yet to develop an intimate, personal relationship with Christ outside of a church or group environment. This person really does not believe that God's grace is sufficiently able to comfort and sustain them once they let go of the offense.
As referenced in Philemon 2:2-5 and Ephesians 4:17-32, forgiving is one of the highest Christlike character traits a believer can display. To break free from unforgiveness and develop the mindset of a forgiver, we must consider several key thoughts at different stages of the forgiveness process:
Thoughts Before You Forgive:
Do you understand that to willfully stay in unforgiveness is to willfully remain in sin and separation from God?
Ask yourself, is this offense I am holding on to worth sacrificing my relationship with God?
Do you fully understand that harboring unforgiveness toward others is an intentional decision to forfeit God's forgiveness toward you?
Do you really believe God's grace is sufficient?
If disobedience is the ultimate destiny destroyer, do you want to sacrifice your destiny?
Remind yourself that forgiveness is God's way of protecting you from your carnal nature and God's way of keeping the body of Christ from devouring itself from the inside out.
Thoughts When You Choose to Forgive:
Take time to understand that forgiving is one of the highest Christlike character traits a believer can display.
Recognize that forgiving means you are ready to let go of the pain, get out of prison, and let God start the healing process.
Understand that this is a decisive moment of obedience to God's Word.
Accept that forgiveness is not based on feelings but on faith and obedience.
Thoughts After You Have Forgiven:
Remember that forgiveness does not mean you will immediately stop feeling the pain, but it is where the healing process begins.
Understand that forgiveness will not change what happened to you, but it will change your focus, fellowship with God, feelings, and future.
Trust that there is no hurt that God cannot heal; therefore, be confident God will get you through this because His grace is sufficient.
Keep in mind that your past may not let you go, but that does not mean you have to hold on to it.
Focus on what God is currently doing in your life rather than what happened in the past.
The journey to becoming a forgiver isn't about waiting until we feel ready or processing our emotions indefinitely. According to Scripture, forgiveness in and of itself is not a process. It is a personal decision to respond in obedience to the Word of God. Developing the mindset of a forgiver is a process that will make obedience less of a struggle to achieve.
Remember that unforgiveness puts us in the debtor's prison where:
We constantly replay old hurts, preventing healing and growth
Our prayers are hindered
Our relationships suffer
Our physical health may be affected
Our spiritual growth is stunted
Our future is compromised by our past
Breaking free requires us to:
Acknowledge the reality of the hurt without letting it define us
Choose obedience to God over our feelings
Trust in God's grace to sustain us through the healing process
Focus on our destiny rather than our history
Allow God's love to transform our hearts and minds
As we practice forgiveness, we'll find that it becomes easier to release offenses quickly, our relationships improve, our prayers become more effective, and our spiritual growth accelerates. While the initial act of forgiveness is a choice, the transformation into someone who forgives readily is a journey of spiritual maturity.
The place God is taking you is worth letting go of the past. No hurt is beyond God's healing power, and His grace is always sufficient. Break the stronghold, step out of that self-imposed prison, and live your life believing that God's plan for your future is greater than the pain of your past. As you develop the mindset of a forgiver, you'll find yourself walking in greater freedom, experiencing deeper relationships, and living the abundant life God intended for you.
Remember, forgiveness is not just about releasing others—it's about freeing yourself to fully embrace the destiny God has prepared for you. Make the choice today to break free from the stronghold of unforgiveness and step into the freedom that comes with becoming a person who forgives as Christ forgives.