“Rebounding From Rejection” Part 5: Moving Forward - Don’t Nurse or Rehearse
We're in the home stretch of our journey through rejection, and if you've been following along, you've learned that rejection is unavoidable, often self-inflicted in its damage; that your response determines your outcome; and how to process it without personalizing. Today, we're tackling one of the most challenging aspects of rebounding from rejection: learning to let it go.
The ability to move forward after rejection isn't just about what you do in the moment—it's about what you refuse to keep doing in the days, weeks, and months that follow.
The Danger of Nursing and Rehearsing
There are two ways we keep rejection alive long after it should have died: we nurse it, and we rehearse it.
Nursing rejection means we tend to it, feed it, keep it warm, and give it a place to grow. We revisit the wound repeatedly, telling the story over and over, keeping the pain fresh and present.
Rehearsing rejection means we replay it in our minds like a movie we can't turn off. We imagine what we should have said, what we could have done differently, or we create scenarios where we "show them" they were wrong.
Both keep us chained to the past. Both prevent healing. Both ensure that yesterday's rejection continues to poison today's opportunities.
Learning From the Most Rejected Man in Scripture
Next to Jesus, the Apostle Paul was probably rejected more than anyone else mentioned in Scripture. He was beaten, imprisoned, shipwrecked, abandoned by friends, opposed by enemies, and constantly criticized by both believers and non-believers.
Yet Paul didn't let rejection define him or derail him. In Philippians 3:13-14, he shares his personal process for handling rejection and anything else that could hinder him from fulfilling God's purpose:
"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
Notice several critical elements in Paul's approach:
Paul's Process for Forgetting
1. "This One Thing I Do"
Paul wasn't describing a one-time event—he was describing an ongoing process. This was Paul's consistent practice for maintaining proper perspective and focus.
In other words, Paul is saying: "This is the one process I use for forgetting those things that are behind me—things that would impede or hinder my ability to reach and press toward the prize or the purpose that God has called me to."
Forgetting isn't a passive process; it's an active one. It's not something that just happens with time—it's something you deliberately do.
2. "Forgetting Those Things Which Are Behind"
This phrase is powerful because it is in the present tense—Paul is constantly in the process of forgetting. Why? Because the past keeps trying to reassert itself.
Today is the present, but if you were mistreated or rejected yesterday, guess where that is today? It's behind you. And if someone rejects you today, guess where that will be tomorrow? Behind you.
The principle: We've got to learn how to forget by not looking in the rearview mirror when the prize is still out in front.
3. "Reaching Forth Unto Those Things Which Are Before"
Paul isn't just forgetting the past—he's actively reaching toward the future. This is crucial. You can't successfully move forward while constantly looking backward.
Imagine trying to drive your car by only looking in the rearview mirror. You'd crash. Yet that's exactly what we do when we nurse and rehearse rejection—we try to navigate our future while fixated on our past.
4. "I Press Toward the Mark"
The word "press" implies effort, intention, and persistence. Paul is saying, "I'm not casually strolling toward my purpose—I'm pressing, pushing, pursuing it with everything I have."
You can't press forward and nurse wounds simultaneously. You can't reach toward your future while rehearsing your past. You have to choose.
Why We Struggle to Let Go
If forgetting is so important, why do we find it so difficult? Here are the common reasons we nurse and rehearse rejection:
We Think We're Protecting Ourselves
We tell ourselves, "If I remember how much this hurt, I won't let it happen again." But there's a difference between wisdom and wounds. Wisdom says, "I learned something valuable." Wounds say, "I'll never try again."
We Want Justice or Vindication
We keep replaying the rejection because we want the other person to acknowledge they were wrong, to apologize, or to somehow make it right. But your healing can't depend on someone else's behavior. That gives them too much power over your future.
We've Made It Part of Our Identity
Sometimes we've told the story so many times that it's become part of who we are. "I'm the person who was rejected by..." But God never intended for rejection to become your identity—He has a better name for you.
We're Afraid to Forget
Strangely, sometimes we're afraid that if we let go of the pain, we're somehow betraying ourselves or minimizing what happened. But forgetting doesn't mean what happened wasn't significant—it means you refuse to let it be permanent.
The Cost of Not Letting Go
When you nurse and rehearse rejection, you pay a terrible price:
You live your present with a past-tense mentality: Every new situation is filtered through old pain, every new person is suspected of being like the old person, every new opportunity feels like a setup to repeat the old disappointment.
You bring all your old pains into every new opportunity: The weight of accumulated rejection becomes heavier with each unprocessed experience, until you're carrying so much pain that you can barely move forward.
You miss what God is doing now: While you're focused on what hurt you yesterday, you're missing what God is trying to give you today.
You become the storyteller of your wounds: Your conversations revolve around past hurts, your thoughts circle around old rejections, and your identity becomes tied to what was done to you rather than who God says you are.
The Process of Truly Forgetting
Here's how to apply Paul's principle practically:
Step 1: Make a Conscious Decision
Forgetting starts with a decision. You must decide that you will no longer give your past permission to control your present. This isn't a feeling—it's a choice.
Say it out loud: "I refuse to nurse this wound any longer. I refuse to rehearse this rejection anymore. I'm choosing to let it go."
Step 2: Interrupt the Pattern
Every time you catch yourself replaying the rejection in your mind, deliberately interrupt the pattern. You might:
Quote a scripture about your identity
Pray for the person who rejected you (more on this next week)
Redirect your thoughts to something you're grateful for
Physically do something different—move, take a walk, call a friend
The goal is to break the automatic replay cycle.
Step 3: Replace the Narrative
You can't just stop thinking about something—you have to replace it with something else. When thoughts of past rejection try to surface, deliberately replace them with:
God's promises for your future
Evidence of His faithfulness in your life
The opportunities currently before you
The progress you've already made
Step 4: Refuse to Rehearse It With Others
One of the fastest ways to keep rejection alive is to keep telling the story. Every time you rehearse it verbally, you reinforce it mentally and emotionally.
This doesn't mean you can never talk about it—processing with a trusted counselor or friend is a healthy approach. But there's a difference between processing (seeking healing) and rehearsing (keeping it alive).
Step 5: Focus on the Prize
Paul said he pressed toward the mark. What's your mark? What's the purpose God has called you to? What's the prize He has for you?
When you're focused on where you're going, you don't have time to dwell on where you've been.
The Freedom of Forgetting
When you learn to forget by not nursing or rehearsing:
You recover your emotional energy: The energy you were spending on replaying the past becomes available for building your future.
You reclaim your narrative: Instead of being defined by what happened to you, you're defined by where you're going.
You become available for new opportunities: People and opportunities that were waiting for you suddenly become accessible because you're no longer emotionally unavailable.
You experience the joy of the present: You can actually enjoy today instead of being haunted by yesterday.
A Word About Memory
Some people worry: "But doesn't forgetting mean I'm pretending it didn't happen?" No. Biblical forgetting isn't about erasing memory—it's about removing the emotional charge and the controlling power that it holds.
You can remember what happened without being controlled by it. You can acknowledge the past without having to relive it. You can learn from yesterday without being imprisoned by it.
Looking Ahead
Next week, in our final installment, we will discuss forgiveness—the clearest path forward. We'll discover why forgiveness isn't optional for those who want to rebound from rejection, and how it changes everything about your future.
But for now, I want you to ask yourself: What rejection am I still nursing? What wound am I still rehearsing? What story am I telling that needs to finally be released?
Remember: Today is the present. Yesterday is behind you. And if you were rejected yesterday, guess where that is today? Behind you. Don't look in the rearview mirror when the prize is out in front.
Stop nursing it. Stop rehearsing it. Start pressing toward the mark.
Your future is too important to be held hostage by your past.
Next week, in Part 6, we'll conclude this series with "Forgiveness: Your Clearest Path Forward" and explore why forgiveness is the ultimate key to achieving complete freedom from rejection. This is the one you don't want to miss!