“Rebounding From Rejection” Part 3: The ‘What You Do Next’ Principle
Over the past two weeks, we've established that rejection is unavoidable, often damaging, and frequently made worse by our own responses. Today, we're going to learn from one of the Bible's greatest examples of someone who faced devastating rejection and turned it into an incredible comeback.
His name is David, and his story teaches us what I call the "What You Do Next" principle.
The Most Important Truth About Setbacks
Here's a life-changing truth: Once something happens to us, the thing itself is no longer the most important issue—the most important issue at that point is how we respond.
Why is this so crucial? Because:
Your response determines how your situation will impact you
Your response determines whether you can shake it off or continue on the path it put you on
John 16:33 reminds us that we overcome the world by our faith—why? Because your faith is your spiritual, biblical response to your natural situation
Once what happened has happened, it's what you do next that determines your outcome.
David's Darkest Hour
Let's turn to 1 Samuel chapter 30, verses 1-8, where we find David in what might have been the lowest moment of his entire life:
"And it came to pass, when David and his men were come to Ziklag on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the south, and Ziklag, and smitten Ziklag, and burned it with fire; And had taken the women captives, that were therein: they slew not any, either great or small, but carried them away, and went on their way. So David and his men came to the city, and, behold, it was burned with fire; and their wives, and their sons, and their daughters, were taken captives. Then David and the people that were with him lifted up their voice and wept, until they had no more power to weep. And David's two wives were taken captives, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, and Abigail the wife of Nabal the Carmelite. And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God. And David said to Abiathar the priest, Ahimelech's son, I pray thee, bring me hither the ephod. And Abiathar brought thither the ephod to David. And David enquired of the Lord, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all."
Picture this scene: David returns home to find everything he cares about gone. His city is burned. His wives and children are captured. His men—his closest allies—are talking about killing him. This isn't just rejection; this is complete devastation.
But notice what happens next. David doesn't stay in that place of despair. He implements what I call the "What You Do Next" principle, comprised of five crucial steps.
The Five Steps of the "What You Do Next" Principle
Step 1: David EXPERIENCED
"Then David and the people that were with him lifted up their voice and wept, until they had no more power to weep."
David allowed himself to feel the pain at the level of the situation. In other words, David didn't act like it didn't hurt. He didn't put on a spiritual mask and pretend everything was fine. He wept until he had no more power to weep.
Some of us have never asked God for healing because we've never admitted to ourselves that we've been hurt. We think acknowledging pain is unspiritual, but David shows us that feeling the full weight of our circumstances is actually the first step toward recovery.
But notice this crucial detail: David realized the solution was not in the experience—it was in the response.
Step 2: David ENCOURAGED
"And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him... but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God."
This is one of the most powerful verses in the entire Bible. When everyone around him was ready to give up, when his own men wanted to stone him, when there was literally no human source of encouragement available, David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.
David went from being discouraged to encouraged simply by shifting his focus from the situation to the Savior. This wasn't denial—he had already experienced the full pain. This was a deliberate choice to find his strength in God rather than in his circumstances.
Step 3: David INQUIRED
"And David said to Abiathar the priest... bring me hither the ephod... And David enquired of the Lord, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? shall I overtake them?"
David didn't fly off in a rage fueled by his flesh. He settled himself and asked God for the appropriate response. This is crucial because Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God has a plan for our lives, which means God has a desired outcome for every situation we face—but it will require direction from Him and participation from us.
When we're in pain, our natural tendency is to react immediately based on emotion. David shows us a better way: pause, pray, and pursue divine direction from God.
Step 4: David ESTABLISHED
"And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all."
Based on God's response to his prayer, David established a plan. He didn't just hear from God and hope things would work out—he developed a specific strategy based on the divine direction he received.
This is where faith meets action. God gave the promise, but David had to establish the plan to see that promise fulfilled.
Step 5: David EXECUTED
The text goes on to tell us that David executed the plan—he did what God told him to do, the way God told him to do it, and he experienced God's desired outcome for his situation. He not only recovered everything that was taken, but he also gained more than he had before.
David's response determined his outcome.
The Power of Process
Here's what makes David's approach so powerful: it's a process, not just a one-time reaction. David didn't accidentally stumble into victory—he followed a deliberate, reproducible pattern that can work for any setback, including rejection.
Let's apply this to rejection:
Experience: Allow yourself to feel the hurt without shame or pretense Encourage: Shift your focus from the situation to the Savior Inquire: Ask God for His perspective and direction Establish: Create a plan based on biblical truth, not emotional reaction Execute: Take action according to God's guidance, not your feelings
Why This Changes Everything
The "What You Do Next" principle is revolutionary because it puts the power back in your hands. You can't control what happens TO you, but you can always control what happens THROUGH you.
When rejection comes:
You can't control the timing
You can't control the source
You can't control the initial pain
But you CAN control what you do next
And what you do next determines whether rejection becomes:
A stumbling block or a stepping stone
A setback or a setup for a comeback
A dead end or a detour to something better
The Faith Connection
Remember, John 16:33 says we overcome the world by our faith. Why does faith overcome? Because your faith is your spiritual, biblical response to your natural situation.
When rejection says, "You're not good enough," faith responds with God's truth about your identity. When rejection says, "This is the end," faith responds with God's promises about your future. When rejection says, "Give up," faith responds with God's strength to keep going.
Your faith-filled response is what transforms rejection from a destroyer into a developer of character.
Preparing for Your Next "What You Do Next" Moment
Every single person reading this will face another rejection. The question isn't IF, but WHEN and HOW you'll respond.
Will you:
Experience the pain appropriately without getting stuck there?
Encourage yourself in the Lord when human encouragement isn't available?
Inquire of God for His perspective before reacting emotionally?
Establish a plan based on His guidance rather than your hurt?
Execute that plan with faith and persistence?
The choice is yours, but the outcome depends on that choice.
Looking Ahead
Next week, we're going to dive into the practical keys for processing rejection without personalizing it. We'll explore how to identify whether rejection is a lesson or a transgression, how to rectify it, and how to nullify its potential negative impact.
But for now, I want you to think about your last major rejection or setback. How did you respond? More importantly, if you had applied David's five-step process, how might the outcome have been different?
Remember: What happened is history. What happens next is up to you.
The "What You Do Next" principle isn't just about surviving rejection—it's about using rejection as a catalyst to discover the strength, wisdom, and purpose you never knew you had.
Your response determines your outcome. Choose wisely.
Next week in Part 4, we'll explore "Processing Rejection Without Personalizing It" and learn the practical keys to turning rejection into wisdom rather than wounds. Don't miss it!